An Adoring Wife is the Woman of His Dreams

Jaynes Says Christian Wives Can Fulfill His Longing to be Adored

Feb 21, 2009 Genna Cockerham

An adoring wife who serves God by showing her husband admiration, appreciation, forgiveness and romance is the woman of his dreams.

One of greatest longings in a man is to be adored, admired and appreciated by his wife, according to author Sharon Jaynes in Becoming the Woman of His Dreams: Seven Qualities Every Man Longs For [Harvest House, 2005]. Women can fulfill that longing by forgiving him, being romantic and serving Christ by serving her husband.

An Adoring Wife

The best way women can be an adoring wife, Jaynes says, is “to love him with all your heart … and let him know about it.” Communicating all the ways a husband is strong, useful, tough, handsome and sexy can go a long way toward making a husband feel adored, admired and appreciated.

Jaynes says all men seek to be admired and appreciated. Some men find those things in the workplace or while engaging in a sport. “How wonderful when that place is in your heart, in your arms, in your home,” she says. Jaynes says wives can fulfill those needs simply by expressing how much they admire their husbands and appreciate what they do. Being his number one fan will make it easier for him to feel fulfilled at home.

Women who have been withholding their admiration may find it difficult to begin expressing themselves to their husbands. Jaynes recommends starting small with an authentic compliment or a simple and heartfelt, “thank you.” Each small act of adoring him will build up the marriage.

Part of showing adoration, admiration and appreciation is being romantic. Jaynes notes that romance is really choosing to show love. There are many ways to be romantic, such as leaving love notes, spending quiet time together or writing a love letter.

Forgiving Him and Asking Forgiveness

Withholding forgiveness can be deadly to marriages and can make it impossible to have the oneness God intends for married couples. Jaynes says forgiveness does not mean turning a blind eye to serious problems that need attention, nor does it mean abandoning husbands to addictions. Instead of ignoring problems, they need to be addressed. Moving beyond to forgiveness and trust can be a challenge, especially when wives have been hurt by their husbands’ behavior.

There are three ways to begin forgiving: choose to forgive, pray for help with forgiving and pray for a husband. Jaynes says forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling, and it is a gift of grace. It can be the ultimate expression of love, just as Jesus forgave others when he was on the cross.

Wives may also be in need of asking for forgiveness. Jaynes recommends a wife speak or write to her husband and admit her wrongdoing. She counsels to ask for forgiveness specifically, to apologize for hurting him and to be specific about what will be done differently in the future.

Serving God by Serving Her Husband

The Bible gives guidelines about how to treat each other, and they can be a blueprint for a wife who is seeking how best to love and serve her husband. Jaynes cites Romans 12: 9-18 as good advice for how to treat husbands.

“If these are the guidelines for loving our friends, how much more are they guidelines for loving our very own husbands,” Jaynes says. Being devoted, patient, joyful, faithful in prayer, living in harmony, abandoning pride and selfishness and honoring others above self are all ways women can love their husbands and become the woman of his dreams.

Jaynes points to the example of Jesus taking on the role of servant to wash the disciples’ feet at the Last Supper. He called Christians to follow his example and serve one another. Although it might be easier to serve friends than husbands, “when we serve our husbands, we are in effect serving Christ himself.” Jaynes says the blessings that wives give their husbands will be returned to them by God if they are not returned to them by their husbands.

Rekindling Love After Marriage

Women who find they no longer have the feeling of new love with their husbands can take several steps to feel and act more loving. Jaynes recommends taking the time to remember the early days of the relationship. Consider what qualities were most attractive in the man chosen as husband. Tell the story of how the relationship began to others, especially children in the home. Remember special days together and celebrate those occasions. Refocusing attention on the days when love was thrilling can help couples return to those loving feelings.

Christian wives who want to improve their marriages and become the woman of his dreams can focus on adoring their husbands. Offering and seeking forgiveness, having a heart for service and relying on Scripture can help cultivate an adoring, admiring and appreciative attitude. For more information about the seven qualities men long for, read The Woman of His Dreams Is a Respectful Wife.

The copyright of the article An Adoring Wife is the Woman of His Dreams in Marriage is owned by Genna Cockerham. Permission to republish An Adoring Wife is the Woman of His Dreams in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.

An Adoring Wife is the Woman of His Dreams	A Wife Can Serve Christ by Serving Her Husband	Make a Man Feel Adored At Home
Being Romantic Can Rekindle Love After Marriage	Becoming the Woman of His Dream by Sharon Jaynes