Arranged Marriage in India

Most Indians Find Their Life Partner by Letting Their Parents Choose

Aug 31, 2009

Prearranged marriage is the traditional way for young Indians to find their life partner with the help of their parents, often using print or online matrimonial services.

Even with all its modernizations in many areas, arranged marriages are still the norm in India. It’s usually the parents and family who find their children a suitable spouse. There are various reasons for this tradition, but mainly it has to do with the Indian culture where the sexes don’t mingle so much and there is no dating culture.

The Perfect Bride or Groom

Traditional marriage in India depends heavily on tying partners based on various important characteristics such as religion, language, location, social status, caste, age, height or education. But parents seeking to get their son or daughter married will also look for other qualities. Will the prospective groom be a good, responsible husband and father? Is he able to maintain a family? Will the prospective bride be a good and loving mother? Will she cooperate well with her in-laws?

Different Forms of Arranging a Marriage

Arranged marriage can be anything from a forced marriage, in which the potential husband and wife have nothing to say at all, to more liberal forms which involve almost free choice and a strong element of romantic love. Common to all arranged marriages is that the parents and even wider family will play an important part in finding a suitable match.

Liberal Forms of Arranged Marriage

Being more mature and experienced, parents are seen as better capable of finding a good match. This can be done by word of mouth, with an agent or using matrimonial services. Nowadays, young people will usually be asked if they’re happy with the arrangement. They will even be able to become more active themselves, usually with the help of print matrimonial ads or profiles on matrimonial websites.

Many parents are willing to consider their children’s suggestions. In any case, young people often have the right to veto and in such a case, arranged marriage may be better described as a well organized family dating service with pre-marriage counseling by parents and other well-wishers.

The Courtship Period in Prearranged Marriages

Traditionally, the bride and groom would not even see each other until the wedding day. While most marriages are still being arranged today, times are changing. There is usually a small courtship period where the bride and groom can meet and talk under the careful eye of a guardian. Also, if one or both of them do not want the marriage, it is likely to be cancelled. Today, very few families force marriages upon their children.

Finding a Partner Through the Internet

In the past, word of mouth and print matrimonials were the main instruments for finding a partner in a prearranged marriage in India. However, with the modern internet boom, the online resources of matrimonial websites are becoming the most popular means. Indian marriage requirements can, in many cases, be so specific in religion, caste, language and location that the internet suits many potential Indian husbands and wives perfectly.

The Advantages of Online Matrimonial Websites

A service provider may use registration profiles to filter preferences and may run several different portals to cater for needs like a specific language, region or religion. This also allows the prospective brides and grooms to take a more active part and look for a partner online in a noncommittal way.

Do Arranged Marriages Work Better?

Divorce statistics seem to indicate that arranged marriages work much better than love marriages do. The divorce demographics of nationmaster.com’s online encyclopedia show India as having a divorce rate of only 1.1%. This is one of the lowest worldwide, especially when compared to the USA, where 46% of all marriages end in divorce. However, the main reason for this may be that divorce is regarded as socially unacceptable in India.

The Future of Arranged Marriage

Arranged marriages have always played an important role in the Indian society. While they are likely to persist, the way marriages are being prearranged is changing with the rapid technological and economic development of India and the existence of a growing middle class with self-confident, independent women. Some of the most important changes are the growing freedom of young people to veto their parents suggestions, the introduction of a courtship period during which young people get to know each other before marriage and the possiblity to start actively looking for a partner themselves while still being open and grateful for their family's advice.

The copyright of the article Arranged Marriage in India in Marriage is owned by Martin Bohn. Permission to republish Arranged Marriage in India in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.