Build a Friendship With Your Husband
A Husband Shares Common Interests with the Woman of His Dreams
Mar 2, 2009
True intimacy in marriage does not have to start in the bedroom, according to author Sharon Jaynes. The author of Becoming the Woman of His Dreams: Seven Qualities Every Man Longs For [Harvest House, 2005] and several other books for Christian women, Jaynes says intimacy in marriage comes from a married couple creating “a thousand sharings” so the marriage bond becomes tightly woven. There are thousands of connections that can be made with a spouse to form an intimate friendship. Creating commonalities is one way a wife can build a friendship with her husband.
Create Common Interests with Your Husband
When new couples are dating, Jaynes says, each person takes a vibrant interest in the other’s work and play. New couples tend to spend hours together learning about each other, doing what the other person wants to do or simply wanting to be where they are. After marriage, many couples go their own way or admit they don’t really like watching football or going antiquing. Sharing a life is built on sharing work and play, Jaynes says.
Take an Interest in Your Husband's Work
The key to creating a deep friendship with a spouse is to continue building commonalities with each other’s work, play and world. Jaynes says men long for wives who will take an active interest in their work, instead of only being interested in their paychecks. Coworkers are there to share in common goals, stresses and victories. “All too often a man comes home from work to a wife who has no idea how he spent his day,” Jaynes says. A wife needs to be informed about what her husband’s job entails and ask about his workday in ways that will initiate communication in marriage.
Playing Builds Intimate Friendship
It is also important for married couples to find ways to play together by sharing in each other’s interests. Building a friendship is about having a good time together and enjoying time that is shared. “He wants to laugh with you, play with you, and enjoy your company,” Jaynes says.
When dating, couples have a tendency to be more open to sharing each other's interests. After marriage, finding ways to share recreation is vital for intimate friendship. Married couples may have to try different sports, games or activities to find ones they can both enjoy, but taking the time to find ways to play together can help to deepen friendship in marriage.
Being Interested Deepens Friendship
Even married couples who have similar interests won’t share every minute of free time together. “There is no way you are going to share everything with your husband – and you shouldn’t,” Jaynes says. “He will have some interests that are solely his and you will have some that are solely yours.” But Jaynes recommends couples take an active interest in their partners’ hobbies. Learning the rules for a sport he likes to watch on TV or understanding why certain collectibles are valuable can deepen friendship in marriage.
Creating common interests is one key to initiate intimate friendship in marriage. A wife who wants to build a deep friendship with her husband should become familiar with his interests. Becoming knowledgeable about his work, finding time to play and learning about his separate interests can all help to build a deep connection among married couples. For more information about the seven qualities men long for in marriage, read An Adoring Wife is the Woman of His Dreams.
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