First Year Marriage Bliss
Tips for Making the Newlywed Transition Trouble-free
Having a successful first year of marriage can be made easier by investing time and resources into the relationship, resulting in a healthy marriage.
Love Individual Differences
Now that the wedding planning is over, it’s time to settle into normal, everyday life. Quirks and characteristics not yet noticed will now start to show. Disagreements about household chores, grocery shopping and other household tasks may come up. Don’t let these small tribulations become larger problems. Realize that each person is an individual. Laugh at the differences. Don’t try to change the other person, instead come to an understanding and work as a team. Now is the time to dive into the depths of the other person’s personality, learning new things and making love grow stronger.
Invest Time in the Relationship
There is a saying that marriage takes work and it’s true. Intimacy can take time and effort to grow. Quality time is the best and easiest way married couples can grow together intimately. Each couple needs to define and agree on what is considered quality time. For some it can be cooking together, working in the yard or just sitting across from each other having a conversation. Busy lives can begin to take away from quality time. Make sure to keep or add this back into the relationship. Make a date to just communicate.
Make Alone Time Important
Although quality time together is very important, make sure to get enough individual time. It is important to take time to reflect on the relationship. Quiet time for prayer, Bible study or meditation is important for personal growth. Also, individuals may prefer different hobbies and quiet time activities. Some may enjoy physical activities like walking, participation in sports or hiking. Yet, others may spend time alone sewing, quilting or reading. It is important to balance quiet, alone time and quality time for the couple. The idea that each individual is emotionally healthy is important to the relationship.
Learn Together
Buy or borrow books on relationships to read together. Several excellent books for newly married couples include:
- The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Dr. Gary Chapman - Northfield Publishing, 1995
- A Couple's Guide to Growing a Marriage by Dr. Gary Chapman - Moody Publishers, 2006
- Love & Respect by Emmerson Eggerichs - Integrity Publishers, 2005
- The Peacemaker by Ken Sande - Baker Books, 2004
By learning new relationship skills, couples can be taught how to communicate better or how to resolve conflicts. With added skills and education, conflicts are resolved more effectively. Learning how to communicate better helps bring attention to issues before they become problems. Couples should also look into attending marriage seminars, counseling and other relationship workshops together. These resources can help couples identify areas of interest or bring to mind topics that may not have been considered.
Meet with a Marriage Mentor
Newlywed couples should consider meeting with a married couple who has been married for many years. Marriage mentor couples can help by giving insight into the new married couple’s relationship. The mentor couple can give examples of successful conflict resolution, resources used and point out important ideas for the new married couple to consider. The new couple can learn from the experiences of the marriage mentor couple.
