How to Show Respect for a Husband
A Respectful Wife has Effective Listening Skills & is Appreciative
Jun 3, 2009
Many marriage books on the market say respect for a husband is an integral part of a successful marriage, but few offer concrete suggestions for how to be a respectful wife. Showing respect for a husband can be broken down into using respectful speech, valuing his contributions and being respectful in front of others.
Active Listening Skills Show Respect
As marriage partners become more comfortable with each other or busier with their careers and children, simple courtesies can fall by the wayside. While many women wouldn’t dream of ordering about a coworker, interrupting a boss or rushing a friend through a story to move on to the next task, wives have a tendency to do all these things to their husbands. These disrespectful actions can make him feel unappreciated, like an inconvenience or a burden to his wife when he tries to open up to her or convey information.
Fortunately, it is easy to improve listening skills. Remembering to be courteous can show love and respect for a husband with speech and nonverbal cues. Both verbal and nonverbal courtesies can change the entire tone of a conversation. Saying a simple, “please,” changes an order into a request. Saying “thank you” and other words of appreciation can convey thankfulness for his work or his effort. Eliminating sarcasm, which is disrespectful, allows a couple to discuss issues openly.
In her book, Becoming the Woman of His Dreams [Harvest House Publications, 2005], author Sharon Jaynes recommends wives convey respect for their husbands by using nonverbal cues that begin with being a good listener. Jaynes recommends wives stop what they are doing while their husbands are speaking. A wife should listen without interrupting, look at him while he is speaking and not rush him to finish. Avoiding eye rolls, sighs, looking at the clock, tapping a foot and other nonverbal ways of being disinterested in what he is saying will result in a more respectful atmosphere. It is not hard to treat a husband with respect and convey the same courtesy given to strangers, but it does take a small effort to be conscious of tone of voice, use of manners and nonverbal cues.
Express Words of Appreciation to a Husband
It is easy to get in the zone of balancing work, home and kids to the exclusion of all else. But one of the key ways a wife can show respect for a husband is by valuing his contributions as a partner. No one else is going to thank him for going to his job, doing his work or providing for his family. It might seem unnecessary to say these things, but respecting his effort and expressing words of appreciation goes a long way toward making him feel respected in his own house.
In his book, Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs [Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2004], Dr. Emerson Eggerichs provides marriage help for married couples struggling with issues of love and respect. Eggerichs discusses the importance of a wife recognizing a husband’s drive to work, provide for his family and be appreciated for his contribution. “Never let him feel unappreciated and that he’s just a meal ticket,” Eggerichs counsels wives. “That is why it is so important that you thank him and let him know you admire and support him.”
Few women would neglect to send a thank you note in response to a favor or send a small gift to a teacher at the end of the school year. Extending the same courtesy to a husband with a note or letter of appreciation for a job well done is a simple way to show respect for a husband.
Show Him Respect in Front of Others
Being a respectful wife inside the confines of the home is important to build a successful marriage, but it is also important to show him respect in front of others. This can be in front of friends and coworkers and in front of the children.
Jaynes counsels wives to show their respect for their husbands by not making him the butt of jokes, not sharing his weaknesses with others and not relating personal details that he would find embarrassing. Belittling his salary or his contribution to the family is a way to show disrespect in front of others and risk crushing his spirit.
Love and Respect in Front of Children
Wives who desire to show respect for their husbands should also model respectful behavior in front of their children. This idea incorporates all the other ways to show a husband respect. Children can be taught to appreciate their father’s contribution to the family and to use respectful speech to their father and other adults. A wife can teach her children to be thankful for their father’s work and effort and to appreciate his desire to provide for them. Teaching children to say thank you to their father for his work helps children learn the values of hard work and earning money.
A respectful wife also values a husband’s contribution by not second-guessing him in front of the children, not always having a better idea and allowing his way to be ok. When wives second-guess their husbands in front of the children, it can teach kids to play one parent against the other or be disrespectful to their father since what he says does not matter. Similarly, criticizing his efforts when he tries to help with the children, be involved with child discipline or assist with the housework will discourage him from helping at all.
Wives who want to show love and respect to their husbands to build a successful marriage should work on building effective listening skills while using manners and a courteous tone of voice. Women who want to be respectful wives should consider how they would treat strangers or coworkers in the same situation, and then treat their husbands even better. For more information on respect in marriage, read How to Show Respect for a Wife.
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
