How to Survive the Holidays with Family

Making the Best of A Bad Situation During the Holiday Season

Nov 12, 2008 Kelly Whitt

There is only one solution to getting through the holidays with crazy relatives and insufferable in-laws: use your sense of humor.

It's time to face it: Most families do not resemble the Cleavers or the Huxtables by any stretch of the imagination. Therefore, getting together for the holidays is not always the pleasant affair it's made out to be. If you are dreading the holiday festivities with family, there is only one way to get through the events with your sanity intact - by using your sense of humor.

This is a great tip for when you are in the moment, but it's also a way to deal with bitter emotions and hurt feelings after the party's over. Instead of obsessing about the offhand comments or how messed up your family is, try playing this little quiz among your friends to see who really wins the "Worst Holiday with Family" award. Either keep track of the items as points on a scorecard, or use the items below to make up your own Dysfunctional Family Bingo card.

One Point Is Awarded for Each of the Following

  • A relative calls you by the wrong name
  • Someone has a bit too much to drink and passes out on the couch
  • You're the oldest person at the "kids' table"
  • A political discussion gets heated
  • The family pet is allowed to beg for food or jump on the counter
  • You have to listen to the same embarrassing story about you, just like every holiday
  • No one is allowed to speak while the game is on
  • You've gotten your hair completely made over but no one notices
  • The home videos only feature the videographers favorite relatives
  • You bring the host/hostess a bottle of wine only to remember he or she is an alcoholic

Five Points Are Awarded for Each of the Following

  • You walk in to the party and no one acknowledges your presence
  • No one touches the food that you brought
  • Someone asks to borrow money from you
  • You walk into a room and everyone stops talking
  • You are happy with your career and someone asks you what you want to do with your life
  • You are asked whether you "really need all that food"
  • There's an awkward silence that lasts through much of dinner
  • You are the lucky recipient of five or more passive aggressive remarks
  • People were taking bets on how many minutes late you would arrive
  • Someone tries to get you to go in on a pyramid scheme

Ten Points Are Awarded for Each of the Following

  • There are placecards for seating at dinner and your name is nowhere to be found
  • Someone asks you when the baby is due ... and you're not pregnant
  • There is crying at the dinner table, and it's not by a baby
  • A relative of the opposite sex makes suggestive comments about you
  • A relative of the same sex makes suggestive comments about you
  • Someone gathers the whole family for a group photo and they ask you to take the picture
  • You have a big announcement to make but someone makes her own just ahead of you
  • Someone brings up how much he liked your ex in front of your current mate
  • Dessert contains an ingredient that you didn't know you were allergic to
  • Someone storms out before the night is through

Personalize Your Own Scoresheet or Bingo Card

These ideas are just to get you started. You may have specific items for your own family, such as, "Uncle Monroe shows the family his war wound again ... on his backside." These points are good for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah or other gatherings and can be modified to include present giving, such as, "Grandma Jean buys her grandson yet another doll and loudly claims to have forgotten how she has no granddaughters."

If you want to add in some goodwill and cheer, add negative points to deduct from your score for the good things that happen. For example, "Your mother-in-law criticizes your baking but your sister-in-law gives you a knowing look." Or, "you manage to kill a whole fifteen minutes claiming to look for something you dropped in the car."

The point is, the holidays never run perfectly, so don't expect them to. Add a little fun to the holidays and remember that you can love your family and laugh at their expense as well.

The copyright of the article How to Survive the Holidays with Family in Marriage is owned by Kelly Whitt. Permission to republish How to Survive the Holidays with Family in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
How to Survive the Holidays, Murat Cokal
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Nov 30, 2009 3:37 PM
Guest :
My husband's family stayed with us for the past two weeks and I almost went nuts! His father is like one of the kid always expecting me to cook and clean up after him. The day after thanksgiving he asked what I was planning to make everyone for breakfast. I was so ready to lose it or give them all turkey left-overs. I slaved all week for thanksgiving so the last thing i was prepared for was making breakfast for everyone. Luckily I had a can of batter blaster pancake batter spray so i whipped up some pancakes pretty quick and then topped them off with some bananas. The kids thought it was pretty cool so I guess I got off easy on that one....but I still think i deserve a few points! They all left on saturday. Thank god!!!
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