Maintaining a Healthy Long Distance Relationship
Survive the Distance
Most men and women have had their fair share of wildly inappropriate suitors that cause them to fall deeper and deeper into the realm of cynicism. Even when people are offering to set them up left and right and they spend Saturdays nights in the self-help section of Barnes & Noble, they have often found themselves wondering where their true love is hiding. Where are the dates that leave their senses electrified?
Where are the men who pick up the tab and still call the next day? And where are the women who aren’t so needy and weighted down with such heavy baggage that it could never be checked at the airport? Well, what if someone did meet one of those mesmerizing characters but he or she is about to hop on the red eye back to his or her home state within the hour?
Well, like the “cougar” phenomenon (defined by older women picking up younger men and holding onto them tightly), a modern trend seems to be picking up speed in the long distance relationship (LDR) department. Long distance relationships, once perceived to be doomed from the start, are garnering more and more attention as rewarding alternatives to the dodgy dating market.
Whether the distance is created after a successful local relationship has developed, often due, in part, to job relocations or the armed forces, or one of the partners simply lives across state lines, LDRs are sprouting up all over the place. Web sites like iVillage.com and others tailored to the modern woman have countless articles and blogs on how to cope with a love that’s not nearby.
Sometimes it turns out that someone's true romantic match has not been living quietly in the next town over waiting for a run-in at the bus stop. Albeit difficult, long distance relationships force both partners to tap into their passionate, creative sides to maintain a healthy, successful romance and partnership. Those who are up for it can try some of the following ways to an LDR for a chance to survive without going broke or spending night after night lost in jealous thought or desperate longing.
Believe in the Relationship
Chances are, if someone's decided to follow her heart and give a long distance relationship a try, she knows something about faith. A person must always have faith in herself and her partner to ever have a chance of maintaining a relationship with state lines or maybe even oceans between them. Whatever the distance, to believe in the sanctity of a relationship is an important element in its survival.
Trust is Essential in the Relationship
The number one concern for both partners in and out of long distance relationships is trust. To trust another person is often difficult for the most confident of people, because to do so means becoming vulnerable. So having a distance between loved ones can allow feelings of jealousy and mistrust to creep into an otherwise solid union. It's unhealthy to spend the time apart worrying and accusing. Trust is to be earned but if it’s not there to begin with, distance could conjure up delusional mistrust that no longer makes either partner happy.
Keep Talking
This not only means chatting on the phone at least once a day to share that someone is thinking of them, but talking means healthy communicating. Communicate thoughts, from the mundane to the more concrete stuff or about even the more serious issues. To mask true feelings is easy when not face to face and this is not a good habit to start.
Using email, texting, phone calls, webcams and other technology to stay connected is a gift, but to communicate false emotions or concerns could lead to disaster. To recognize that a person cannot simply wait to see his loved one's face or grab her hand to talk about the real issues is important. But this distance doesn’t have to mean that everything is dipped in sugar when apart and the “real” relationship starts when together. Communicate whenever possible and be willing to listen as well.
Get Creative
Money for gas, flights, and phone bills can add up, but a long distance relationship doesn’t have to break the bank balance. Have fun tapping into creative sides. To “web-date” has become a common and cheap way to spend time with someone far away. Sending cards or letters in the mail is a pre-modern mystery to some people but the sentimentality can be powerful.
The truth is, even if a lover lives across the hall, people leave town on business, have busy schedules, or take vacations. LDRs, like any other ones, can be difficult but they allow partners to make room for love in their lives while continuing to grow as people and learn about their own strengths and weaknesses. The keys to any healthy relationship are love, trust, and communication with everyone involved.
Long Distance Love
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