Fifty percent of marriages end up in divorce. If you are married, or planning to get married, here are vital keys to strengthen your marriage.
One of the most heartwarming scenes that anyone would want to see would be that of an elderly couple walking together, holding hands, as if they were young sweethearts.
But what is the cold reality regarding divorce and marriage? According to Divorce Magazine, 2002 statistics reveal that the U.S. population was about 282 million. Twenty percent of this total were married. About 3% of men and 3% of women were divorced. What is particularly sobering is that men and women under age 45 who were marrying had a 50% chance that their marriage would end in divorce. The average length of time before a first divorce occurred was about 7 to 8 years.This is not a very pretty picture.
If you are happily married, unhappily married or planning to get married, what can you do to beat these odds? Here are vital keys to strengthen your marriage.
Think We, Not Me
When two people get married, there is a very fundamental change in their lives. For the most part these two individuals should become one. They eat together, sleep together, play together, talk together, walk together, and do things together. But the union goes deeper than purely physical activities. Their hopes, dreams, and ambitions should blend and become one. For a marriage to truly last, the partners should learn to think always, from now on, in terms of“we”and not“me.”Everything they do, every plan they devise and every decision they make should now consider what is for their mutual collective interest. Do you remember the song "You and Me ("we") Against the World" by Paul Williams?
Think What's Right, Not Who's Right
Arguments, misunderstanding and fights are almost always inevitable in marriage. Sometimes one party is at fault, either the husband or the wife. At other times, both parties may be at fault. Repeated and unresolved conflict is a serious threat to a lasting marriage. Every effort should be made in order to keep things from going out of control. One of the best ways to manage and eventually overcome these undesirable situations is to agree beforehand on the“rules of engagement.”or more appropriately, the“rules of conflict settlement.”
To quickly settle offences, both parties should agree on the principle that it doesn't matter who is right, it matters what's right. By following this principle, the greatest obstacle to resolving a quarrel- PRIDE- is quickly taken out of the way. The offending party should promptly offer the apologies and sincerely make amends; the offended party, on the other hand, should accept the apology to finally settle the matter.
Dwell in the Past
Yes, you read it right. Most sage advice has to do with forgetting what has happened and then moving on. This time as a married couple you should remember the past. Keep in mind the time when both of you first fell in love, the dates you spent together, the loving and caring things that you did for each other. Remember the romance of first love and keep it alive throughout your married life. This will serve as the fuel to keep the light of love burning hot and bright. There will always be something new and exciting in your relationship.
Do you want to see your marriage last fifty or more happy years? Would you as a couple like to grow old, walking together, holding hands like young sweethearts? It is very possible. US statistics show that 5% of marriages reach their 50th anniversary. Apply these vital keys now and make your marriage last.
