Popping the question is no "walk in the park," nor should it be as quick as hitting that "easy button." Asking for a special someone's hand in marriage should be a lifetime commitment to being married to that person. Sweaty palms and brows might be a part of it, but with thoughtfulness and careful planning, proposing marriage can be a sparkling, special memory for couples as they begin their lives together.
Avoiding Marriage Proposal Bloopers
According to Dick Russ and Rob Jennings in their USA Today article, November 12, "Marriage proposal deflates as ring falls from hot-air balloon," James Ng, 26, pastor of New Mercies Community Church, in Burton, Ohio, in the United States, thought he had the perfect plan. He took his girlfriend up in a hot-air balloon above lovely autumn trees to propose marriage to her. He had hidden the engagement ring, which was in a box in his camera case, and waited for the right moment. But, as he lifted the camera case, it slipped from his hands and fell 500 feet. "
I just watched it tumble and it hit a tree and spun around and the stuff fluttered out of it," Ng recalls. "I couldn't believe I had done that." Ng's girlfriend, Sonya Bostic, 27, knew something was up, so Ng confessed and proposed, and later searched for the lost engagement ring. After using Google maps, plotting flight paths and marking off various search grids, a miracle happened! They found the camera bag, minus everything but the ring! "I never thought in a million years we'd find it, that was truly God. It really was," says Bostic.
Ng and Bostic were lucky or blessed or both, but here are some more courting mistakes men may want to pass up.
- Another guy tied his engagement ring to a kite string, and literally made his girlfriend "go fly a kite." She was not pleased.
- Another guy roused his girlfriend out of a deep sleep by calling up the stairs, "Honey, come down here! I think the cat got out!" She was not pleased, either.
- Still another guy thought it would be cute to put his girlfriend's engagement ring inside her muffin at dinner. That warranted an unwanted trip to the emergency room at the hospital.
What to Do Before Proposing Marriage
Men need to consider how well they know the intended lady, and how concerns, such as finances, children (if any), and other practical matters will be handled. Have these situations been addressed? If not, then proposing marriage might be premature. If, however, these items have been discussed, as well as the decision to marry at some point, then it may be safe to move forward.
Next on the agenda is a consideration of the intended lady's likes and dislikes, her personality. This will surely help in deciding to make proposing marriage a private or public matter, in a private or public place. Most women do not want to be proposed to in front of family or at a baseball game or cricket match. So, it may be best to make it an intimate interlude in this lovely journey of life. According to romance experts Sheri and Bob Stritof, in their article, "Proposing Marriage, Creating a Memory," (About.com, accessed November 12, 2009), the best proposals are the ones that tug at a person's heart strings. The plans don't have to be costly or involve major plans. They just need to bring tears to loved one's eyes.
Some Do's And Don'ts of The Marriage Proposal
Applying these do's and don'ts will make things much easier.
- Practice popping the question. It will quiet the nerves. And, men who include why they want to marry their intended and what marriage means to them, score more points.
- Make it about the intended. What setting would she like? How might she like to be proposed to?
- Pick the right time, not when the intended is stressed out over grandma's recent demise, for example.
- Have an engagement ring to give. Never ever offer an IOU.
- Keep the marriage proposal simple. And, don't forget to get down on one knee. It shows sincere love and respect for the lady.
- Make it a surprise. Unless, out of respect, the man asks the woman's father for permission to marry her, tell no one, especially a "tell all" relative.
- Don't put the ring in a drink or in a food item, lest the lady choke.
- Don't make the lady go on a scavenger hunt, unless it is something that might appeal to her.
- Don't propose in front of family, a crowd of people, or in a noisy place.
When all is said and done, it is important to remember that the marriage proposal is a declaration of love and a desire to commit to a life together, relates Anne Marie Baugh in her article, "How to Propose Marriage: Romancing The Proposal" (lifescript.com,1998-2009). If men plan ahead, think about their lady's hopes and dreams, and consider practical suggestions, such as the right place, time and adding a dash of chivalry by getting down on one knee, the heartfelt question of, "Will you marry me?" should get a resounding, "yes!"
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