Review of John M. Gottman's Latest Marriage Book

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work Provides Marriage Help

Jul 12, 2009 Lisa C. DeLuca

Anyone wishing to improve and keep a good marriage or save a failing one must read John Gottman's book. He has scientifically determined why marriages succeed or fail.

Even marital therapists may not be able to say with accuracy what the difference is between marriages that succeed and marriages that fail. That is, unless they are familiar with the work of Dr. John M. Gottman.

In order to make a good marriage even better, to ensure that a good marriage will last, or to save a failing one, people need to at least familiarize themselves with the facts about what long-lasting marriages have in common, and what marriages that end in divorce don't have. This is what John Gottman's The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work provides in an engaging and totally useful way.

Marriage Help from Dr. John M. Gottman

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work gives readers a road map. Readers will surely recognize their own behavior and that of their spouses. After reading the book they will understand which behaviors to nurture and which behaviors to put an end to.

Readers can expect to say to their spouses, "See, I told you you shouldn't do this to me, look, it's right here in black and white." They will also find themselves realizing, with a humble gulp, that their spouse may have been justified about certain requests or complaints.

Readers may be able to improve their marriage just by implementing some of the principles in the book, regardless of whether or not their spouses even read the book. But Gottman also provides quizzes, checklists and games for spouses to do together. These are useful exercises that will help people be more literate about marriage and that will help people understand the areas of strength and weakness in their own marriages. Gottman gives suggestions and instruction on how to work on the areas that may be weak.

John M. Gottman's Marriage Research is Credible

Dr. John M. Gottman began researching marriage in 1972. Because of the paucity of good, reliable, scientific research around marriage, Gottman began using the scientific method to study hundreds of couples. His book about why marriages succeed or fail is based on solid scientific research. And what he finds will surprise many.

Gottman also provides statistics about the effects of marriage and divorce on spouses and children.

Gottman Can Predict Which Marriages will Succeed or Fail Based on Scientific Fact

By listening to a couple argue for just five minutes, Gottman can predict, with an accuracy rate of 91%, whether or not the couple will divorce. He can also tell 96% of the time whether a marital discussion will resolve a conflict or not, after listening to the discussion for only three minutes.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work Research Studies

When writing this book, Gottman was studying seven hundred couples in seven different studies. He has studied couples at every phase of life and has followed them over the years. He videotaped them fighting, talking, discussing certain topics. He measured their heart rate, blood flow, sweat output, blood pressure and immune function "moment by moment."

As a result, Gottman has been able to explain the reasons why traditional marital therapy has only a 35 percent success rate, that falls to 18% after three years. Gottman's marital therapy is showing only a 20% post-therapy relapse rate, as compared to a nationwide relapse rate of 30 to 50%.

John Gottman's book is based on solid research that is scientifically proven to be accurate. It will help people in happy marriages and troubled marriages. It will help couples who read it together and individuals whose spouse never reads it. Anyone wishing to be more knowledgeable and literate about marriage and about how to help their marriage or keep it strong should read this credible, factual, not-to-be-ignored book.

The book is: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John M. Gottman, Ph.D., and Nan Silver. Published in New York in 1999 by Three Rivers Press. ISBN: 0-609-80579-7.

The copyright of the article Review of John M. Gottman's Latest Marriage Book in Marriage is owned by Lisa C. DeLuca. Permission to republish Review of John M. Gottman's Latest Marriage Book in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
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