Selecting Your Wedding Officiant
Choosing a Traditional Pastor or Professional Official
In designing the perfect wedding, brides and grooms can disagree over who to use as the wedding official. While tradition holds it's the bride's home pastor who performs the ceremony, many people today do not have church membership. This presents a choice for using a wedding professional to officiate the exchanging of the vows.
The Traditional Pastor Versus the Wedding Professional
A traditional pastor, however, offers some services beyond what a judge or county official provides. Traditional pastors can provide pre-marital counseling, prayer leadership and important other services requiring training beyond that required to simply satisfy state regulations.
A traditional pastor, from a home church of the bride or groom
- offers a sense of preserving tradition for the ceremony.
- provides premarital counseling and insights.
- can bring prayer and invocation into the ceremony more authentically.
- often knows the bride and groom and can provide depth to the ceremony.
Today, many wedding officials also have the training to provide counseling as well as bringing other skills to the couple. Good professional wedding officials should be able to offer:
- ceremony planning and structure guidelines.
- premarital counseling for both couples and individuals.
- assist in writing vows and ring exchanges.
- be open to including new prayers, wording and other elements to make the ceremony more custom to the couple than true to tradition only.
Things to Check when Using a Wedding Professional
If the couple decides to explore going with a professional wedding official, there are some things to check up on.
- Be certain the official is ordained.
- Ask how the official obtained ordination. Be wary of "mail order" preachers!
- Ask about qualifications for providing counseling. A good rule of thumb is for the official to hold an advanced degree in divinity or counseling such as a Master of Education or a Master of Arts.
If these concerns are well answered, the official may offer a great alternative to a traditional pastor.
If you are using a wedding planner, he should have a list of wedding officials who provide ceremonies outside of their other pastoral duties. There are an increasing number of legitimate officials who are educated to meet the needs of the couple, however, there are still a number of questionable "officials" in practice.
Of course, the wedding should reflect the desires of the bride and groom. Wedding officials, whether from a groom's church, a bride's church or an outside resource, should be willing to work with the couple to make the day as wonderful as possible.
If you have something you want added to your wedding, whether in the vows or the flow of the ceremony, a good official will accommodate you, or give you a very good reason not to include it. If you disagree, move along to another professional.
Whether you use a traditional pastor or a professional wedding official, remember it's your day. Don't let tradition stand in the way of you having the ceremony you want.
The Beauty of Marriage Begins with the Official
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