Help for Sexless Marriages

How to Turn Sexless, Unhappy Marriages Into Sexy, Good Marriages

Sep 28, 2009

A sexless marriage means having sex less than 10 times a year, which can lead to low self esteem and resentment in marriages. There is help for sexless marriages though.

Sexless marriages are more common than most people might believe. Couples are often embarrassed and angry, so they don't discuss their marital problems with friends, family, or even professionals who may be able to help. Often these marriages end in failure because of the lack of effort on the couples part to figure out what the problem is and find a solution. But these marriages can be saved and turned around with a little bit of effort and desire to change the relationship.

Sexless Marriages

A marriage is considered sexless when the couple has sex less than ten times a year. It’s estimated that over 15% of married couples (an estimated 20 million couples) have stopped having sex. Most married couples have sex an average of 58 times a year while couples under 30 average 111 times a year.

There are many reasons why one or both couples may become uninterested in sex. A few of those reasons include:

Very often it is actually the man in the relationship who no longer desires sex with his partner. The most common reasons for his disinterest include:

Unhappy Marriages

For some couples, not having sex isn’t a major concern, but for most it is a significant problem. Usually a sexless marriage indicates there are other problems within a marriage. Often this will lead couples to engage in affairs or lead to divorce.

Often women withhold sex in an attempt to gain love and respect or as a punishment to their husbands for not appreciating them more. However, it’s just as common for men to feel undervalued and also withhold sex. Men frequently mention that the reason they are no longer interested in sex with their wives is because they feel a lack of the emotional connection they had earlier on in their relationship.

Help for Sexless Marriages

Rekindling sex in a marriage can often be as simple as adding some spice to the relationship. Taking a vacation and trying out a new venue for sex, spending a weekend away from the kids or other family, having some simple alone time together are all ways to help rekindle desire in a relationship.

Talking about sex and opening a line of communication will help build trust and understanding between a couple. Improving these other aspects of a relationship could cause both spouses to feel more trusting of their partners which could help them act on the physical desires they may still have for their spouse.

Adding excitement and adventure to a relationship is another way to keep things from becoming boring. Sexy clothing, toys, and new positions are great ways to throw in a little adventure.

With some couples the problems are too deep-seeded for simple activities like a vacation or trying a new sexual position. In these cases seeing a medical professional (if it’s caused by medication or a physical condition) or a marriage counselor may be necessary to save the marriage and prevent an affair. Affairs are the most common reason cited for a divorce.

Good Marriages

Sex doesn’t create a good marriage. Communication, trust, and respect create a good marriage. Feeling desired and loved creates a good marriage. Part of feeling desired involves sex. If there is one problem in a marriage regarding respect or communication, it can seriously affect a couple’s sex life. The most important thing to prevent this is for couples to communicate their concerns to their spouses and show their respect for everything they do.

The copyright of the article Help for Sexless Marriages in Marriage is owned by Tiffany Krey. Permission to republish Help for Sexless Marriages in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.