The Benefits of Arranged Marriage

Do Prearranged Relationships Work better Than Love Marriages?

Aug 31, 2009

The custom of arranging marriages is still customary in many countries. What are the advantages of arranged matrimony?

Arranged marriage is an old custom which used to be practiced by royal and aristocratic families around the world. Nowadays, arranged marriages are still customary in India, Africa and, to some extent, in the Middle East.

Love Marriage Versus Arranged Marriage

While love marriages are usually associated with romance, love at first sight and personal freedom, arranged marriages are mostly centered around building a family, adjustment between the partners and regard for the wishes of one’s family and religion. Love is believed to grow with time by living together and adjusting to each other’s personality rather than being a product of passionate attraction. This article examines the benefits of having an arranged marriage.

Arranged Marriages and Family Values

One of the merits of arranged marriage is its focus on family values. Since the wishes of parents and family members are considered or even followed when choosing a partner, there will be less danger of quarrel and discord within the family. Above all, arranged marriages are less about passion and romance and more about starting a family.

While the relationship between husband and wife may not be as romantic and passionate as in love marriages, there might be more satisfaction from family life. In arranged marriages, children are mostly regarded as the main source of emotional satisfaction. So there is less focus on one’s partner and less unrealistic expectations. Furthermore, there are no children conceived or born out of wedlock.

The Spiritual Benefits of Arranged Marriage

In general, arranged marriages are not about romance or superficial attraction and more about leading a balanced family life. The relative absence of passion tends to make it easier to focus on spiritual practices. Often, marriage is seen as a way of pleasing God or adhering to moral values rather than focusing on sexual and romantic satisfaction.

Prearranged Marriages are More Stable

Divorce statistics seem to strongly indicate that arranged marriages work far better than love marriages do. According to the divorce demography of nationmaster.com, India – a country where most marriages are arranged – has one of the lowest divorce rates worldwide (1.1%) compared to 46% in the USA, which means every second US American marriage ends in divorce.

Divorce Rates Depend on Social Acceptance

However, the true significance of these statistics might simply be that divorce is regarded as socially unacceptable in India. As stated in an online article of telegraph.co.uk, the divorce rate among middle class Indians is soaring since divorce is no longer stigmatized and women have become more independent financially. Divorce rates of Western countries used to be much lower in the past, before divorce became socially acceptable. Thus, a low divorce rate may say only a little about the actual level of satisfaction in arranged marriages.

Parents Have More Life Experience

Still, the fact that partners in arranged marriages tend to have less unrealistic and emotional expectations may enhance the stability of the marriage. Another point is that parents are generally more experienced and are not likely to place much as much importance on sex appeal or external beauty when choosing a partner for their child. Mere sexual attraction and romantic emotions are no sound base for a healthy, enduring relationship.

Help in Finding a Suitable Partner

Finding a partner by oneself can be quite challenging and many young people in Western countries may find dating stressful or feel apprehensive about not finding a partner at all. Arranged marriages help avoid this dating stress. With all the help of parents, family and friends, young people can feel much more confident and relaxed about finding a suitable spouse.

"Divorce soars in India's middle class". Online article of the British newspaper The Telegraph, 01 Oct 2005.

The copyright of the article The Benefits of Arranged Marriage in Marriage is owned by Martin Bohn. Permission to republish The Benefits of Arranged Marriage in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.