It’s almost holiday season again. It’s almost time for Thanksgiving turkeys, Christmas trees and Hanukkah gifts. However, the holiday season can be very stressful for a couple. Whether it’s the first time the couple has brought each other home for the holidays or it’s their first Christmas being married, things can get chaotic and take a toll on the relationship if the couple doesn’t plan ahead and communicate.
Even before the holidays start the couple needs to get together and talk about the upcoming functions. Find out what each family is doing and when, start getting a game plan together and compromise, compromise, compromise!
Don’t Try to Hit Every House on Every Holiday
Depending on the families, it’s nearly impossible to hit every house on Thanksgiving or Christmas. There are his and her grandparents, maybe even mom’s and dad’s parents, aunts and uncles, parent’s houses, etc. Don’t try to please everyone on the same holiday. Not only will it be exhausting but no one will be happy. The couple will have to leave one party early just to arrive late to another and nobody will get quality time with the couple.
The couple needs to sit down and talk about what holidays are most important to each side of the family. If one spouse’s family celebrates Christmas on Christmas Eve then see them that evening and the other spouse’s family Christmas Day. Different things will work for different families but be flexible and family members will, hopefully, understand.
Large Families Can be Overwhelming
The first Christmas with a significant other and family can be a little scary, let alone if it is a large family. For some, it can be a scene straight out of My Big Fat Greek Wedding. The first thing that must be done is to give the significant other a run down on the family she is going to encounter. Are they loud? Are they quiet? Do they have a particular tradition the significant other needs to be aware of?
Psychotherapist and relationship coach, Toni Coleman, encounters questions about this daily in her career. “…If your dad is confrontational by nature, give your boyfriend a heads up and then the two of you can decide how you will handle any potential unpleasantries from him,” Coleman advises.
Don’t Let Family Members Lay Down Guilt
Don’t let a family member guilt one person into something the couple hasn’t agreed on. During the first few years of marriage some family members may be a little upset. They don’t get to see the couple as much as they’d like and they’re used to seeing them more often than one holiday at the end of the year. Of course, they want to be selfish and spend as much time as possible with the new couple. Can they really be blamed? However, they may not understand the stress it’s putting on the couple.
Take Time for Each Other
The holidays can bring stress and frustration to a relationship. The couple can be pulled in 100 different directions and end up taking it out on each other. This time of year is for spending time with loved ones so don’t forget to take time out for the most important loved one. Wherever the couple is going or whatever they’re doing, they need to remember to take some time, relax and enjoy each other during the holidays as well.
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