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Two Different Worlds, One Marriage

The Extended World of a Marriage on the Road

Jan 19, 2007 Rhonda Langefeld

When one spouse travels, the world of their marriage spreads far beyond the borders of its hometown--and the world of that marriage belongs to both spouses.

Work-related travel seems to divide married life into "his world" and "her world." That is, the world of the spouse at home vs. the world of the spouse abroad. Strong though the temptation is to follow that line of thinking, a wise couple considers both worlds "our world" and is active in each as much as possible. What does this mean?

The road spouse:

invites the home spouse along on his travels whenever he can
speaks of his spouse regularly to the people he meets
uses a camera to record the important places of their life away from home--the view from his regular hotel, his usual restaurant, even the horrible road construction traffic in Chicago that set him back an hour
brings the "road world" home with purchases that mean something to him and to his spouse
communicates openly and daily with his spouse
does not use distance to hide himself from his spouse

The home spouse:

does not let frustration make her deny that the other half of her marriage world exists
goes with her spouse on trips when she can
works to remember the names and faces of the people her husband works with; the names of his colleagues, fellow soldiers, or clients; the restaurants he has enjoyed and wants to take her to
communicates what is happening at home to the road spouse--not just irritations, but all of the good news as well, and especially anything that has changed while he is gone--so that he feels like a part of the family when he returns
communicates openly and daily with her spouse
does not use distance to hide herself from her spouse

The most important thing: Show your spouse that no matter where they are and no matter where you are, they are the most important part of your world.

Click here for more on traveling spouses.

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