What is Love Really?

Guarding Against Love Abuse

Nov 22, 2006 Rhonda Langefeld

Because people often twist the meaning of love for their own purposes, married people need to hang on to a clear definition of love.

All sorts of hateful things are done in the name of love. "Love" is used to manipulate people. "Love" is used to demand things from them. "Love" is the excuse for doing horrendous things to them. In history and in the daily newspaper, love has been twisted to justify rudeness, rape, violence, destruction, murder, and everything in between.

In reality, no one can change what love is. They can only lie about it. Like saying four plus three equals nine. But twisted love can confuse, and even destroy, the undiscerning.

Since love is the central theme and motivating force in the homes and actions of married life, understanding love is foundational.

Below is a list--drawn from the wisdom and definitions of the ages--of the things love is and does. Some may be obvious; some not. Is this how you and your spouse define love? How can you practice two or three of these in your home today? How are you growing in love together?

1. Love is a commitment to the welfare of another.
2. Love is sincere, never phony.
3. Love may be surrounded with deep respect, even awe and admiration, but never fear.
4. The overall effect of love is refreshment, encouragement, and a sense of well-being.
5. Love delights in sharing.
6. Love builds up people.
7. Love is a friend of discipline.
8. Love speaks the truth out of a deep caring for the other person.
9. Love does good to others.
10. Love is faithful.
11. Love is a gift freely given; it cannot be demanded, required, or extorted.
12. Love appreciates.
13. Love never strays far from wisdom.
14. Love tells a person "you are worthwhile."
15. Love does no harm to a neighbor.
16. Love addresses the problems in its relationships.
17. Love forgives.
18. Love looks out for the other's interests.
19. Love does hard work.
20. Love is the gift of self.
21. Love keeps company with qualities like patience and kindness.
22. Love has integrity.
23. Love is something we all need.
24. Love is a big thing made up of a hundred small actions.
25. Love can be learned.
26. Love grows.

The copyright of the article What is Love Really? in Marriage is owned by Rhonda Langefeld. Permission to republish What is Love Really? in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.