Three Ways Men Resist Change
How to Accept Men and Their Unwillingness to Change
Many women unsuccessfully try to change their husband. Here is a guide to why men resist change and how women can cope with their faults.
All women who have set out to try and change their husbands have more than likely failed miserably. Yet even after they have failed, they continue to nag in hopes of seeing change. Unfortunately, women are on a fast track to learning the hard way.
There is no doubt that a wife’s intentions are good ones. She wants their husband to be a better person, amount to more and get the best out of life. Yet when she does this she is telling him he is not good enough, he hasn’t amounted to anything, and that he is not enjoying his life to the fullest.
When a wife tries to change her husband she is subconsciously telling him that she is better than he is and that she has it all figured out. Honestly, there is nothing farther from the truth. All women have their own faults as well, after all they are human!
Helen Andelin, author of Fascinating Womanhood, discusses how a man will respond to the woman who trys to change him. Her discussion consists of three ways men resist change.
He Will Respond With Resistance, Resentment, or Anger.
Let’s face it, men hate pressure. They do not want to be told what to do. Men also feel that their wife is the one they go to when life gets hard. They want their wife to bring relaxation, calmness, and happiness into his life. By trying to change him, women are contradicting their role as a wife.
He Will Reject You.
Nothing hurts worse when he begins to distance himself. Wives start to see a lack of communication, intimacy, and one-on-one time on his part. Any of these factors should raise a red flag; silence is the number one aspect in destroyed marriages.
He Will Rebel.
A wife with good intentions may try to get her husband to spend more time with the family on Sunday afternoons rather than watching football. She uses whatever method she thinks will convince him, she nags, complains, and sweet talks him. Yet, the next weekend she finds him at a sports bar with a few buddies watching the game. What!? Yes, this is what men do when they feel attacked. They rebel in order to protect their freedom and prove that they are still a man.
It may seem completely unfair that he doesn’t want to change. However, part of marriage is to understand a man’s thought process and respect it. Wives have to accept their husband for who he is flaws and all. They also have to accept the fact that he may never change. To make this bitter pill a little easier to swallow, women should focus on the qualities that attracted them in the beginning.
All women should make it a priority to list all of their husband’s outstanding qualities then encourage and praise those qualities. They should communicate to him how they appreciate those fine qualities through their words and actions. Not only will this feed their husband’s drained ego, but it will motivate him to become a better person as well.
