Instead of simply reciting the well-worn words of their childhood faiths, an increasing number of couples are opting to stray from tradition and personalize their wedding vows. But before rushing to craft that unique declaration of love and devotion consider the following tips for forming and reciting the perfect matrimonial pledge.
Consult A Wedding Officiant
When planning a religious ceremony, it’s vital to incorporate the phrasing deemed mandatory by the particular faith. Consulting a clergyman early on will help set the parameters for the scripting while uncovering any faith-based objections to the original ideas and word choice. Secular ceremonies are of course less confining, but discussing plans with an experienced officiant can only streamline the process. Both clergyman and secular representatives can offer practical insight and advice, as well as possible quotes and various vow examples to help start the process.
Couples Should Write Wedding Vows Together
Marriage isn’t a one-person show. Agree on what both parties want, expect, and need from each during the course of a lifetime and then draft words that best articulate those ideals. While many couples include an individual prefacing anecdote highlighting a significant romantic image such as a memory of the couple’s first kiss, the vows themselves should be the same for both parties. This gives the impression of mental equality, emotional congruency, and the symbolic forging of an unshakable unity.
A Creative Slant on Wedding Vows
The main reason people decide to write their own vows is that they long to express their individuality and the uniqueness of their love for one another. While the artistically inclined may find their answers in an active brainstorming session, others can look to outside sources for assistance. In the quest to uncover that perfect word or phase consider favorite books, poems, love stories, and plays. Putting a new twist on time-honored religious phrase may also prove helpful.
Speak Your Vows From the Heart
This is an opportunity to get personal. Reflect on moments shared, experiences encountered, and trials and tribulations overcome. While it may be enough to profess committed, the sentiment might carry more weight if underscored by a time in the relationship when one partner displayed the selected characteristic. For example, “I promise to support you despite all obstacles, just as you encouraged me through graduate school and comforted me during my father’s illness.” Such examples increase the intimacy of the ceremony while providing guests with poetic images of the abstract ideals.
Play to the Wedding Audience
It is important to speak loud enough so that the people in the back of the room can hear the ceremony. If the guest list is large, make sure the church or wedding hall is equipped to handle wireless microphones. These unobtrusive devices will decrease the pressure of public speaking and allowing allowing both guests and participants to focus on content.
Also, remember not to alienate your audience. Avoid including private jokes or convoluted memories that will baffle attendees. This is no time to be a loose lipped jokester. Respect the solemnity of the occasion by omitting playful clichés such as, “and the groom promises to always feed the dog and mow the lawn.” Similarly, references to physical pleasure should be excluded.
Keep Vows Brief
The spoken vows provide the highlights of the wedding ceremony, but that doesn’t mean they have to be long-winded. The strongest vows crystallize in one to three minutes, the basic underlining themes and ideals that the couple will share throughout their lives. This climactic moment can then be delicately framed in songs, prayers, and special readings that further illustrate the pair’s intentions.
Edit Vows Aloud
What looks good on paper is often difficult to understand when spoken. To help ensure a smooth delivery, keep sentences short, practice tongue-tying words, and look out for awkward sentence structure. Conducting read-throughs in the presence of a trusted friend will provide a second opinion on content and an accurate gauge on delivery time.
Dealing with Wedding Day Jitters
Public speaking is few folks favorite pastime. To smooth things along take a deep breath before beginning and try to speak in a clear, even-paced tone. Also be on the look out for sudden bursts of emotion that can make cause voices to crack and eyes to water. When the words rule emotions, simply stop, smile, and begin again. Guests will be moved by the honest display of affection.
Finally, never memorize wedding vows. At best it will sound like a scripted politician. Even seasoned speakers can have a mind like a steel sieve by the time they make it to the altar. Avoid the risk of a brain freeze by bringing a typed or clearly printed copy of the vows to the ceremony. If carrying cards isn’t convenient , simply echo the officiant.
A Final Marriage Vow To Do List
Before putting pen to paper, consult the officiant for guidelines and each other for inspiration. Once the concept is clear, craft the marriage vows in specifics that will define the union and resonate with attendees. Finally, speak with the kind of clarity and conviction the day deserves.
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