Three reasons why couples argue over money.
When it comes to finances and marriage, many disagreements can be traced to these three sources.
1. Different maturity levels. Individuals mature in different parts of their psyche at different rates. If one person lags a great deal behind the other in the responsible handling of money, this can cause problems in their finances and in their relationship.
2. Different values concerning money--beliefs about what is right or wrong to do with money. Like how much debt one should carry, how much to save, how much to give to charity, how much to spend and what it is acceptable to spend it on. It takes work to merge these values into a united couple policy.
3. Unity versus independence spending struggles. Should you tell your spouse before spending $50? How about before $100? Or do you spend the money any way you want to and any time you like? The adult nature of marriage is one of honest sharing--not of hiding expenditures or indulging in childish spending fits.
The good news? All three of these issues can be handled successfully and in a way that doesn't divide the couple. Some tips to help...
A. Be honest about your strengths and weaknesses with money. Commit to growing in maturity when it comes to finances. Divide financial responsibilities according to each other's skills and abilities.
B. Discuss what money beliefs are the most important to you and be willing to compromise on the ones that aren't so important. Find out why certain beliefs are so important to your spouse. Be honest about why beliefs are important to you. Focus and capitalize on the things you agree on.
C. Decide on a dollar amount that you can spend freely without checking in with each other. When it comes to purchasing an item priced above your agreed upon amount, consult each other before spending. Remember--your goal is to work your finances for the good of the two of you, not just for the pleasure of the one of you.
