Marriage

Newlywed Difficultie

  1. mlmanfer
  2. rozetta

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1.   Jan 18, 2007 12:02 PM

» mlmanfer - Newlywed difficulties


I am a clincial psychology student in San DIego, CA currently researching women's expereinces during the first year of marriage. I am wondering what this time was like for women...?

-- posted by mlmanfer

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2.   Jan 24, 2007 1:39 AM

» rozetta - Newlywed difficulties

In response to Newlywed difficulties posted by mlmanfer:


Oh, heavens, where do I begin, the first couple of months it is pure bliss. There's lovemaking, there's attention, everything anyone could ever ask for. But now things have changed. It's been a year and a couple of months but things are falling apart. When we told our families that we were getteing married, both families sat us down and asked whether we've gone for counselling. We were so excited and so caught up in getting married that we just thought that we'll take care of all that once we are married...BIG Mistake. Now we arghue about money (I love shopping, not excessively, but I like looking good). He is more practical when it comes to spending. For instance, if he gets a bonus of say R 5000, He would throw all that money into our mortgage. I on the other hand, would throw at least R 4500 AND SPEND R 500 on myself because i work so hard. I know i have debts but that doesn't mean i can't use some of my hard earned money for myself. I've also just discovered that he had a private e-mail and another sim card that i knew nothing about. My wonderful husband has been having cyber sex and phone sex. We are currently seeing a counsellor but i'm nowhere near forgiving him. I feel that if he did this in a time in aour marriage where everythingis still kind of new, what is he going to get up to when i'm pregnant or what guarantee is there that he won't have an affair? As a christian, i'm supposed to forgive him, and everytime i go for counselling with him, I feel like the focus is on him and his sexual addiction and not what i'm going through. I've thought about revenge, but that's not who i am. I've recently started smoking, with every puff, i ask myself what the hell i'm doing, but it makes me feel good. marriage is not easy, i've just come to realise that!!!!

-- posted by rozetta

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