Dramatist Oliver Goldsmith once claimed, "I chose my wife, as she did her wedding gown, not for a fine glossy surface, but such qualities as would wear well."
Based on this quote, I asked people why they married their spouses. What qualities did they see in their spouse that made them the best choice as partner-for-life? Here's what they said.
I could trust him with everything.
He made room in his life and heart for me.
He listened.
I couldn't imagine life not being with her.
I missed him when I was gone and I realized I had never missed anyone like that before. I wanted to call him as soon as I got back.
He had all the things I said I always wanted.
I can totally be myself with him.
She fits me!
He was cute, smart, funny and flew airplanes. Forty-four years later, he is still cute, smart and funny, and I thank God for him everyday!
He made me feel special and I felt the same way about him. After just a couple of dates, I was sold.
We shared a great many interests.
No matter where I went in the world and no matter where he went, I wanted to be where he was. He connected with my heart.
He liked me for me. He was so accepting. I didn't have to have defenses up; I could just be me.
She's my kind of normal!
We had a lot of things in common. He's funny and he thought I was funny; he's just like me.
It's very comfortable to be with him. I can be my complete self with him. He's patient.
There was something about him, a quality of character there. I had an amazing respect for him that I had never had for anyone else before.
May these answers help you celebrate the love of your life this month. Happy Valentine's Day from Suite 101!
The copyright of the article Why I Chose You in Marriage is owned by Rhonda Langefeld. Permission to republish Why I Chose You must be granted by the author in writing.
Comments
Feb 19, 2007 12:55 AM
Debra Kelly
:
Marriages go through changes and phases over time. It is a fact that, as we age, our priorities change. Newlyweds, my elders told me, need that first year of marriage to be child-free. "You need time to get to know each other," they opined, "before bringing a child into this world together." Nowadays, people have the freedom of living together without being married to "get to know each other". The missing ingredient in this situation is commitment. To actually commit to a relationship means you are willing to WORK for it. That's such a simple word for a host of emotions. It takes TWO to make a marriage work well. You must BOTH be willing to work at finding ways to communicate your wants, needs, dreams, and goals to each other. Two minds and hearts working together, with love at the root of it, can reach goals easily, but poor communication is a major cause of divorce. I only recently realized that "communication" does NOT mean going about trying to change someone else's ways, but accepting that person as they are, and making the most of their strong points, within the marriage. A happily-married friend once told me that she and her hubby never argued; she bitched and he listened! She had to have been joking, as she usually does, as she has a wonderful marriage, to a husband with a career, a career of her own, and two sons who have finished college and started their own families. Humor, I have begun to realize, seems to be one of the ingredients that keeps a relationship solid. My current (#3) husband has made the grade with me. His sense of humor works well with my ability to keep my emotions under wraps until I explode into a sobbing heap. He suddenly becomes dead-serious, listening to me for a couple of minutes, then makes me laugh over the cats' antics. This keeps me from "crying myself sick", but, at the same time, validates my feelings as important. It works for ME. I would be interested in knowing how many couples think humor is important to a marriage and why.
Feb 20, 2007 9:12 AM
Rhonda Langefeld
:
You are so right. Humor, the ability to laugh together -- not at someone or at each other -- but sharing the same joke, the same fun way of looking at something. Laughing together really bonds a husband and wife together. In fact, my brother-in-law first noticed the woman who later became his wife because she was laughing at all the same jokes he was.
